


Ben and Porsche snippets

by guysinmyhead



Category: Mercy Thompson Series - Patricia Briggs
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-13
Updated: 2017-08-14
Packaged: 2018-11-13 19:11:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 13
Words: 18,539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11191554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/guysinmyhead/pseuds/guysinmyhead
Summary: - snippets I've (mostly) posted to Tumblr- unrelated but some crossover to the other 3 stories- BIG DIFFERENCES INCLUDE: 3 cousins (2 by Anna and Charles and 1 by Samuel and Ariana) and 1 little brother.- one shots with some coherence between some of them





	1. Story 1

“I’m coming.” Ben promised, already out the door without a second thought.  He had just gotten home from work, his wallet was on his person and he’d swiped his keys back up from where he’d left them.  Porsche had insisted on going out with her one friend from university and on her way back _alone_ bumped into a rather undesirable character.  

 

Bohdan Bzovsky was possibly Ben’s least favourite person living this size of the Atlantic Ocean and so he certainly didn’t need to be anywhere near Porsche Hauptman.

 

It took him a record fifteen minutes to get to where she was and his heart dropped when he realized she had allowed herself to be cornered by hiding herself away in a small coffee shop.  Bohdan was standing outside patiently.  It was unlike a werewolf to play with his prey in that way and it pushed Ben a little closer to the edge of beyond angry.

 

“She called her babysitter.”  The accent was thicker than what Ben was used to hearing out of the other man’s mouth.  

 

“I’m her friend.”  Ben corrected, thankful he wasn’t lying.  “And you shouldn’t be here.  The Marrok would have your head for preying on his granddaughter.”

 

“She isn’t yours, wolf.”  Bohdan taunted.

 

“She’s more mine than yours.”  Ben snarled and Bohdan laughed in his face more than literally.

 

“Have you gotten a taste of her yet?”

 

“You don’t have the right to think of her like that.”  The younger man didn’t know when he had wrapped his fingers around the other man’s throat.  “You never did.  You shouldn’t have touched her.  She was weak, it’s your job to protect her. You were her second.”

 

“Will you not touch her because I did?”  Even with his air restricted, Bzovsky smirked, “Or because you shouldn’t think of her either?  What is it Americans say? I forget sometimes…’she’s a great fuck’? I think that’s it.” He had the nerve to laugh when Ben’s hand tightened.

 

“I wouldn’t know,” Ben growled, “I’m no more American than you. Less so, in fact, you came before me.”

 

“In every sense of the word.” Ben slammed the other man’s head against the brick, thankful that they were in a residential neighborhood.  No one was strolling through, conveniently or unfortunately.  It was a fact that made it harder for Ben to not kill him there.

 

He let go.

 

Bohdan took a few slow breaths, watching Ben carefully.

 

“That’s right.” Bohdan’s lips played into a grin again.  “You wouldn’t want to get sent away again.”  Ben froze, that wasn’t something many people knew about this side of the pond and that specific fact was something almost entirely unknown.  “I have friends in far places.”

 

“Killing you would make it worth it.” Ben spat, but there was a nanny and her two charges walking by on the sidewalk now and he didn’t need the publicized attention.

 

The stand-off wouldn’t have ended if Bohdan hadn’t conveniently been called away in that moment to tend to something about a new pack member. Ben felt even more sick hearing on the other end of the phone call that it was a new woman.

 

He would tell the Marrok what Bohdan had said and hopefully it would be carefully monitored.

 

Ben hurried inside the small cafe to find the girl who had called him all but hiding in the back, curled up on her chair the tightest she could manage with tea in front of her.  

 

“Did you pay?” Ben asked gently, approaching her.  She nodded shakily.  “Do you want to stay or should be go?”

 

“Go.” Her voice cracked and he clenched his fists.  He _should_ have killed him. 

 

“Ok, come on.”  He relaxed again, as much as he could.  Their slight height difference made holding her to him a little awkward in his opinion.  Ben also doubted her compliance with letting him pull her along.  He was still over-thinking when she shakily slid her hand into his and squeezed as tightly as she could.

 

They got home and she lost control.  She had been holding together so well for him outside.  He wanted nothing more than to hold her and kiss her fear and all the bad memories away, but he couldn’t.  Instead, he encouraged her to shower off her day, helping her shakily into the warm water.  He held his breath because he couldn’t avoid seeing her.  It wasn’t unusual, they were werewolves and they saw each other naked on at least one occasion per month.

 

It was the strangeness of the intimacy, helping her trembling and tear-streaked form into the shower.  It was the control it took when she wouldn’t let go of his hand and he let her convince him to stand in her shower with his pants and shirt still on.  

 

It was not touching her, just letting her hold his hand.  His wolf was ready to make her his and he knew he couldn’t do that to her.  

 

It helped that wet jeans were impossible to get out of.

 

He watched her slide down the wall of the shower, shampoo still in her hair, and break down again.  All he could do was help her finish rinsing it out or risk loosing his focus and control altogether.  He then shut off the water and stepped out to get her towel.  

 

When she was wrapped in it, he let himself hold her again but he’d had to take his own sopping wet shirt off.

 

“Get dressed,” He said quietly.  He’d grabbed clothes when he had found her towel and he needed to find a way to take off his pants now before they got stiff.  She clutched the towel to herself and slowly entered her bedroom.  He turned around and made the fasted work that he could of the pants, pulling on sweats and a t-shirt in a total of fifteen minutes.

 

She was sitting on the bed when he emerged, clothed in only one of his t-shirts and he felt his wolf settle, if just a little.  

 

Porsche _was_ his, in every way he could afford to let her be.


	2. Story 2

”Oh my God are you seriously jealous right now?”  Porsche groaned, watching Ben storm up the stairs.  It was his house but neither of them knew the last time she’d actually been to her own to spend the night or even just to get clothes.  “Ben, he’s staying for a night on his way to Los Angeles!”  She was ignored except for a pause in his step.  “He’s just a friend, you know that.  You’re being irrational.”

 

“I’m being irrational?”  He spun around.  “You invited someone over that you’ve _slept with_.”

 

“I’ve slept with more than one person, Ben.”  She pointed out stubbornly.  “You knew that a long time before this even happened.” She gestured between them.  “It was almost ten years ago—“

 

“Exactly!” 

 

“Do you hear yourself right now?”  She asked him, lowering her voice.  “Seriously?  Do you hear yourself?”

 

“I don’t want him here.”  Ben growled.

 

“I didn’t ask.”

 

“It’s my house.”  

 

“He’s staying one night.  We can build him a dog house, he just needs some place to sleep.”  She said gently now.  “It’ll be fine.  I’ll be with you all night, you know that.”

 

“He should stay with your father.”

 

“Oh because that’s a better idea.” She snorted with an eye roll.

 

“You’re being childish.”  He shot at her.

 

“I’m enough an adult for you when—“ She stopped herself when he winced.  “I’m sorry, that was a line I shouldn’t have crossed.”  She whispered, but he drew away from her when she started on the steps.  “I knew that, I’m sorry. I didn’t think it through.”

 

“’s fine.” He growled at her, actually growled this time, and finished the flight of stairs with his back to her and shoulders hunched slightly.  

“It’s not, that was wrong of me.” Porsche admitted, pulling her hair into a low pony and following him.  “I wasn’t thinking at all before I spoke.  I know what that sounded like.”

 

“It’s fine, just let him fucking stay,”  Ben snapped at her, hand gripping the doorknob to their bedroom too tightly.  Porsche frowned at it for a moment, worried he might break it.  He was shouting again.  “I don’t give a tentacle-porn-lover’s ass what you do—“

 

“A what?” But he wasn’t done yet.

  
“—now or what you did in the overlord’s pack of orgy-infatuated mongrels—“

 

“You know you’re a werewolf too, right?”  She asked him seriously.

 

“—But I wish he’d never sent you back.”  

 

She stared at him, mouth slightly ajar.  He glanced down at the floor, embarrassed about his outbreak now he thought of it.  

 

“He should have kept you there and far away from me.”

 

“You don’t get to make those decisions.”  She snapped back at him, but she was trying to keep tears out of her eyes.  “Where the fuck did this even come from?  Haven’t you gotten over this already?”

 

“You don’t get over something like that, you really don’t understand do you?”  He shook his head, trying to retreat into the bedroom.  He’d tested a temper that could rival his though, Porsche had a dangerously short fuse for a werewolf with instantaneous changes.  

 

“I thought I did.”  She said exasperatedly, “But apparently it’s just been hiding from me.  I thought that’s what all the crap you pulled when I was in college was about.  I thought you’d stopped caring.  I didn’t know you were still concerned about this age gap—“

 

“It’s nothing to do with your age!” He protested.

 

“It has everything to do with my age!”  She hissed.  “And the coincidence that you were in my father’s pack.  If you’d been in Alaska you think you’d give a shit about how old I am?  No.  It’s because you were here.”

 

“I took care of you,”  He ran his hands through his hair.  “I changed your diapers, God damn it why don’t you see the problem? That’s not normal, Porsche, none of this is normal.”

 

“I’m a fucking werewolf!” She screeched.  “My mother turns into a coyote whenever she feels like she’d rather have fur than hair!  I see dead people and never even realized!  _My godfather is a vampire_! What part of my life is normal?  Explain to me the normal. Right now.”

 

“I—“ Ben stammered.  

 

“Get over yourself!  You think you’ve done something wrong and you haven’t.  I kissed you.  I slept with you.  It had nothing to do with our past.  You didn’t say anything or do _anything_.  If I wanted right now, I could have you on your knees.  You pull your rank from _me_.” She was scary when she was angry, something Ben had all but forgotten.  She might have a short fuse, but Porsche was rarely so angry as to snarl at him. 

 

“That’s not how that works.”  His comment didn’t do anything to lighten her sudden mood, or maybe it’s because he was still shouting at her.  He wasn’t positive which.  “I should have stayed away, let you live a normal—“ 

 

“There you go again! You’re so obsessed with normal!” Ben was thankful at least that her eyes were slowly coming back from the edge.  “You want normal so bad, just build a fucking picket fence and paint it white!” Porsche gestured towards the window.  “Buy a two car garage so I can stop parking on the street! Put a ring on it and—“

 

“Are you asking me to marry you?”  He stopped her, confused.  Her expression faltered and she looked at him, utterly bewildered.  “Porsche, are you proposing to me?”  He laughed.

 

“I-I-I…” She stopped and pressed her lips together. “…You’re building the fence.”  

 

She’d never seen him laugh so hard.  Her cheeks were red and hot and she stood there awkwardly.  

 

“Ben, stop, we were arguing about something serious.”

 

“You had me worried you were going to put the bed through the window.”  He agreed, but hadn’t stopped. Ben’s eyes were actually starting to tear. 

 

“I was about to!”  She whined, sounding suddenly much younger than she was and a lot less like she was commuting to medical school a few hours away with heavy frequency.  “Stop laughing at me.  I’m serious.”

 

“I was too.”  He slowed down and his eyes began to look sad again.  “You’re still—“

 

“If you say it, I will absolutely throw at least the mattress out the window.” She warned.  “I get now that this is something you still have issues with but it’s a done deal, you’re stuck with me.”  She seemed to think for a moment and Ben kept silent, watching her.  “Are you going to say yes because I want to get a ring on you as soon as possible.”

 

He rolled his eyes with a small smile beginning to tug at the corners of his mouth again.

 

“That new secretary seems a little obsessed with you.”  Her expression was flat.  She also wanted to add that the last one had been as well, but refrained.  “I need her to stop.”

 

“And you said I was overreacting.”

 

“You can trust Matt.” She said gravely, “I can’t trust whoever this woman is.”  As an afterthought, “And don’t you ever tell me again that I shouldn’t have come back here.”

 

He nodded.  

 

“You should go ask my dad for my hand in the holiest of matrimonies.”  She flashed him a grin before turning to head back downstairs.  “I can go ahead of you and find an excuse to get something, a piece of jewelry maybe or something like that.  I don’t have anything here.”

 

“Does this have to happen right now?” He called after her.  She glanced back and shrugged.

 

“I just think if this is going to happen, it has to happen before Jesse finds out.”  Her ( _much_ older) half sister could turn this into a living nightmare for the both of them but Ben snorted.

 

“You’re more melodramatic than your mother.”

 

“I’m smarter than my mother.” She corrected, continuing down the stairs.  “My dad has a soft spot for weddings though so maybe we can do something small with the pack…very small…just a reception…or”

 

Ben could have sworn she continued gathering her purse and keys while planning the wedding she didn’t want to have and he shook his head.  She and Jesse didn’t fall far from the same exact tree.  Porsche had just as much of a soft spot for fairytale weddings as her sister did.

 

Still, he waited for her to leave before he sighed and began the trek downstairs.  He’d give her a significant head start before he bothered to approach her father. 

 

He wasn’t sure that marriage was the solution to the issues he still faced with their predicament, he was actually operating with the knowledge that it wasn’t. He could give her this, though, because she was right.  It added some air of fake normalcy to the scenario.  


	3. Story 3

”Ben were you named after a clock?”  The five year old piped as soon as her mother opened the door to her home and she was able to catch his scent.  Ben had been in the kitchen talking to his alpha about something when he heart her.

 

“What?”  He snorted.

 

“The big clock!” Porsche explained, gesturing with tiny hands that this thing she was thinking of was huge.  “My teacher showed us a video today and it had a clock with your name on it! And the people spoke funny, too.  It sounded like you a little bit.”

 

“I speak funny?” He gave her a small smile and she shrugged.  “I think you speak funny.”  Her expression changed into over exaggerated offense.  “And you’re named after a car.”

 

“So you _are_ named after a clock!” She screeched, pointing at him.  Mercy snorted and Adam was grinning.  Ben sighed and playfully ruffled her hair.  


	4. Story 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just to note, she does stay with Charles and Anna in this realm for short spurts of time.

”I think I should be allowed to go, since you’re taking mom.” A young, teenage Porsche crossed her pulled her hair to the side of her face and crossed her arms.  She had come home for some time in the summer while her grandfather and Charles prepared for an international summit concerning werewolf relations with the Fae.  

 

“You’re not coming, it’s dangerous.”  Her father used his “that’s final” voice and she pouted a little.

 

“For everyone else involved,” Ben snorted, “I wouldn’t personally bring you to a summit even if you were the last wolf on earth.” 

 

She spun on her heel to him and raised an eyebrow, arms still crossed but a smirk played on her lips.

 

“Well, you know what Ferry Porsche said,” She commented, “‘The last werewolf on earth will be me.”

 

Adam frowned, but only because his wife had begun to laugh.  Porsche’s expression broke into a grin and Ben made a face at her childishly.

 

“Don’t look at me,” Mercy patted Adam’s shoulder.  “You named her.”

 

It was a few days before they left, but not without assigning a babysitter to her every waking moment of the day.

 

“Don’t you have a job?”  Ben could hear her complaining at Darryl from outside the house.  He chuckled to himself and entered to face a relieved second and a very frustrated teenage girl.

 

“What’s wrong?”  Ben asked her, careful to try and remain serious else she would go off on him, too.

 

“I’m bored!” She exclaimed.  “This is boring! He expects me to stay inside for a week?”  Her brother was too young for her to take care of in the case of a problem where she was left alone.  Instead, her brother was with their “uncle” Samuel.

 

“So long as you don’t take a shit on the carpet.”  Ben motioned for her to follow him.  “Let’s go.  We’ll go someplace for a run then.”

 

Darryl gave him a surprised look and he shrugged.  It was the night before the full moon, he wouldn’t complain about a run.  He was surprised the other man hadn’t taken her, but their second was probably concerned she’d run away from him.  Ben knew she wouldn’t, Porsche was a lot of bark and no bite.

 

“Really?” But she was already out the door with him, a bundle of excited energy.  He was glad to see her like this, especially after what had happened the other day.  Day one, Auriel and Darryl both had an inability to stay for an extended amount of time.  It was a day important for Ben to be at work and Warren had still been out of town.  He wasn’t sure why no one had asked her godfather, Stefan, but suspected it might have been because of Darryl not wanting to contact him.

 

So for all of an hour, one singular hour, a new party had been left to take care of her.  Obviously, she was in fine shape so she didn’t need looking after so much as making sure she didn’t do anything stupid.  

 

Ben had been beyond angry with Darryl when he found out someone so young was put in charge of her.  It was a new wolf, he wasn’t even staying with them for more than a few months before leaving the country altogether.  It was probably the first real time he’d stood up against him regarding anything. 

 

He’d told the kid to stop whining about his wrists because they’d heal, Porsche had broken both of them quite happily once given the chance.  

 

That did it for Ben though, he realized everything he’d feared would happen was already in the works.  It took only the tiredly exchanged hellos when Warren came to takeover for him to notice something was wrong.

 

 _“What’s wrong?”_ He’d asked.

 

 _“Nothing, I’m just a little on-edge.”_ Ben brushed him off to the best of his ability but Warren gave him a look that made him feel absolutely belly up vulnerable.  

  
_“If anyone has tested their control, it’s you.”_ Was all his third had replied before Ben had made a hasty exit.  

 

Here, his control was better even with the full moon almost upon them.  He could keep his other half from looking at her if he kept himself otherwise distracted, and that was fine.

 

The idea of what could happen if he lost control made him sick to his stomach.  He’d felt nauseated for hours after the realization had struck him.  

 


	5. Story 5

”Why am I picking you up?”  Ben waited until Porsche had seated herself in the car and his nose wrinkled.  She blinked at him with a small, innocent smile and he shook his head, refocusing on the road.  “Who taught you about the Everclear?”

 

“I heard whispers through the…” She trailed off, losing focus.

 

“Grapevine, yes, good job.” He snorted, but he had to admit it was funny.  She probably wouldn’t stay this way much longer.  He had to make fun of her while he could.  “Any reason you’re mumbling something under your breath?”  

 

“Oh…” She paused.  “It’s something Charles taught me.”  The hair on Ben’s spine stood up and he pulled over.  They’d only gotten about a block.  

 

“What did you do?”  He demanded, looking at her carefully.

 

“Please don’t stop driving.” She covered her ears.  

 

“Your mother doesn’t drink for a reason, ‘fess up.  What did you do.”  He tapped her shoulder.  “Why are you so desperate to get out of there?”

 

“Nothing.” 

 

“You might be too drunk to smell anything other than alcohol, but you’re lying.”  He growled, but pulled the car onto the road again anyways.  He let her keep talking to herself until they were home.  “Listen, you’re going to tell me now why you are so freaked out before I let you bring something into my home.”  The college sophomore had sobered up significantly since she’d first gotten in and she bit her lip.  

 

“It was just a stupid party.”  He raised an eyebrow at her, prompting for more.  “It was a theme I guess, I don’t know.  Jennie is friends with weird people,” He knew she was a theater major, wasn’t so sure how she had Porsche had befriended each other.  It did make sense that she had weird friends, though.  “I guess it was all about dead celebrities.  They had a wall of them and in the center was just a piece of cardboard torn off a box with the alphabet on it.”

 

“If you say you played with a Ouija board, knowing everything you do about the world, I swear to Jesus fucking Christ I’m taking you to someone else to deal with tonight—“

  
“I didn’t touch it!” She protested.  “But I mean I was already…” She looked embarrassed and Ben couldn’t blame her, the amount she had to have to drink to get as bad as she was would have cost her a fortune to say the least.  “They had it out and there was just something about this one letter…and then I saw her and I just needed to get out of there.”

 

“Is _she_ anywhere near us?”  Ben asked carefully.  “And what is _she_.”

 

“I’m not going to call her by name and have her come here.”  Porsche warned.  She was superstitious only because she’d seen some weird things.  She wasn’t sure if whatever she’d seen could come to her, she seemed bound to the home, but she didn’t want to find out.

 

“We’re safe.”  Ben pulled her through the door.  “I don’t like the idea of you doing that.  How much money did you spend?”

 

“I don’t want to reflect on it.”

 

“Do you need to eat?”  She placed her hands on her hips and he sighed dramatically.  “I take that as a yes.  Be careful, alcohol will have you gaining all sorts of weight.”

She stuck her tongue out at him when he went to the freezer for a frozen dinner but she wasn’t sure he’d noticed.

 

“I’m sorry.”  She said suddenly, when he’d put the tray in the microwave.  He frowned at her and cocked his head to the side.  “For getting drunk, that was stupid of me.”

 

“Have you ever been drunk before?”  He asked with a small chuckle.  She shook her head.  “It’s fine, everyone has to experience it at least once.  Not you know not to spend stupid amounts of money on bottles of liquor.”

 

“It’s kind of nice to be a werewolf.” She admitted.  “I don’t think I could survive that much longer.  It was like drowning the rational part of my brain.  It was weird—“ She paused and took in his change of posture.  He didn’t notice she’d stopped speaking, he buried himself in removing the hot tray and placing it in front of her instead.  He went to grab a fork.  “Would you still drink?  If you weren’t a werewolf?”

 

“You’ve seen me.”  Ben pointed out, sliding a fork down to her.

 

“Yeah but…like…drink yourself drunk?”

 

“I had money growing up.”  He brushed it off as if it were obvious, forgetting she was her father’s daughter and she honestly hadn’t seen much of the world even after living a short few months in New York City.  Porsche just looked at him, confused.  “Uh…” He didn’t know how to explain the concept of rich white kids and drugs, but was relieved when she seemed to piece it together herself.

 

Well, relieved until she was worried.

 

“Ben—“

 

“I was a kid.”  He dismissed her.  “And clearly that hasn’t continued.”

 

She watched him carefully as she ate and suddenly he felt uncomfortable.  Ben fidgeted with his hands nervously.  He always avoided talking about his past and was suddenly regretting opening up again.  It was the one thing he was sometimes scared to share.

 

Porsche wasn’t judging him, he had to remind himself, she wasn’t disappointed with him.  She wanted to understand.  She herself was this little shining light, despite what she’d been through in her life (and Ben had been there to see it all).  He sometimes struggled to explain things that were simple to understand, like rich kids doing drugs.  

 

He had no idea how to explain to her that becoming a werewolf was absolutely the best thing that could have happened to him when it did.  

 

Instead of trying, he pushed away from the counter and paced in the living room.  Porsche peeled her eyes away and pretended to let it go just for a little while.  He would settle and she could approach him then.

 

He finally laid down on the couch maybe five minutes later and she chose then to glance back.  She’d finished her food already but was hesitant to startle him yet.

 

“Porsche,”  She almost jumped at his voice.  “Can you…” There was a pause.  “Can you some here?” 

 

She walked slowly around the couch and waited for him to continue.

 

“I…” He was having a difficult time trying to avoid making a fool of himself.  “I dealt with things really childishly.”

 

His eyes were closed and he wasn’t looking at her.  Porsche stepped forward softly and took his hand, untangled it from his blonde hair, and squeezed.  His eyes opened, startled by her touch.

 

“I don’t handle anything well,”  She tried to make it a little lighter.  “I’ve grabbed onto you for most of it.”  He snorted.  “I think, not that my opinion matters, that you handled everything the way you should have.”  When he opened his mouth to protest she shook her head.  “I also know it’s not much, but I’m always here.”

 

Ben wasn’t sure she understood everything that came along with that.  She certainly knew some of it, the worst parts that he’d wanted to keep from her often spilled over.  It was hard to keep ahold of their mate bond and his emotions if something made him remember.

 

“You don’t need to be sorry.”  She let him know she was listening.  He grunted and pulled himself up into a sitting position.  

 

“We going to bed or are you still drunk?”

 

“I’m fine.”  She rolled her eyes and he nodded.  He made it all the way to the stairs without realizing she wasn’t behind him.  “I wasn’t sure if you’d want me in bed tonight.”

 

He wasn’t sure if she was referencing her visible lack of covered skin or her previous drunken stupor, but he didn’t really care.  He wasn’t going to kick the second best thing to come into his life out of his bed just because she was being herself.

 

He would, however, text her mom in the morning and ask if there was any reason he should be concerned that Porsche could bring _things_ into his home.

 


	6. Story 6

”I’ll see you at lunch?”  She asked, not looking up at him despite his arms being wrapped around her.  She tried to keep the excitement out of her voice, but this morning she was so anxious.  Her hands were caught on his shirt, fiddling anxiously with a button.  Ben steadied her hand with his and tipped her chin up to meet his eyes.  She wasn’t the type to hide from him.

 

“Of course.”  It was a promise and she nodded, still visibly pale.  “You sure you want to do this?”

 

“I’m scared.”  She admitted quietly, he almost didn’t catch it.  Ben’s shoulder’s tensed.  “You promise you’re going to show up?  Pinky promise?”  He relaxed again, not even remotely offended at her worry.  Ben could understand her concern, he had given her reasons to fear him running out on her.  He’d disappeared in the past.

 

“Yeah,”  He laughed as she pushed her pinky between their faces.  He lifted his hand to lock their fingers together before moving around them to playfully plant a raspberry on her cheek.  She giggled, her body relaxing at his childishness.  “I’ll be there, ok?  I’ll even be late to work afterwards if I have to.” 

 

“Oh, don’t do that.” The large brown eyes widened.  “You need that job…” She was joking, he knew.  He had been single long enough to accumulate some, but he also knew she was super anxious about the fact that she wasn’t making money yet.  The nearest medical school was in Seattle and Porsche was the way that she was, meaning she would specifically organize her week so that she had weekends long enough to come home to him.  

 

So she was getting through medical school slower than expected and she was very self conscious about it.

 

“You helping Adam today?”  She nodded, she had taken to helping with finances to get herself by.  She hated not making money, seriously hated it, and had swallowed her pride and allowed her father to give her money under the condition that she work. 

 

“After lunch.”  She smiled up at him and he grinned back stupidly.  “I didn’t want to explain where I was going.”  

 

Ben was rightfully concerned about telling her father right off the bat that they were married, even though he knew it was happening.  Porsche didn’t want him so heavily involved.  For his sake (and for hers, though she’d never admit it) she had organized a little gathering after the fact.  As it were, she was debating whether or not they would have a ceremony as a vow renewal just to do it.

 

Ben hoped she’d decide against it.

 

He kissed her quickly on the nose and she gave him an eye roll.

 

“Should I wear white?” She asked him, only half-jokingly but he laughed.  

 

“You think you deserve to wear white?”

 

“Oh shut up!” She shoved him playfully, but he’d already grabbed her waist again.  “You’re horrible.  I’m wearing white for the party and I don’t want my dad to hear you say that.”

 

Honestly, Ben wouldn’t say anything of the sort in front of his alpha.

 

“Wear white, wear blue, paint yourself green, I could care less.”  He kissed her gently.  “Mostly because I’m fashion blind, but I suppose I love you, too.”

 

“You need to have left five minutes ago.” She glanced at the clock and he made a noise of agreement.  “Go!”

 

“You convinced yet that I’m not going to leave you at the altar?”  He asked her.

 

“I’ll believe it when I see it.”


	7. Chapter 7

”Ok, I’m sorry, but unless you’re getting divorced—and you’re not—you can’t stay here.”  Kyle crossed his arms as he leaned against the door.  He had aged well, Ben was always jealous even though he himself couldn’t physically age.  

 

“Kyle,”  Ben’s voice was strained and tired.  He had bags under his eyes, it was three in the morning, there was a list of reasons this situation was unnatural.  “Please.”

 

“Where is she, Ben?”  He raised an eyebrow.

 

“Kyle, let him in.” Warren sounded tired as well.

 

“No,” Kyle turned around to speak to the man hiding behind the door.  “He doesn’t get to come in until he explains why he needs to.” He turned back to the man on the other side of the door. “You’re wife likely wants you home.”

 

“Kyle,” Warren warned.  Ben had jumped at the word.  No one was supposed to know they’d already gotten hitched and finding out it was common knowledge was a bucket of ice water.  “Let him inside.  He’ll just get more aggravated.”

 

“I’m aggravated!” Kyle exclaimed.  He looked Ben over and sighed, allowing his old friend inside.  “Fine, come in before we make a scene.”

 

He didn’t say thank you, he didn’t say much of anything actually.  Ben only tried to straighten out his messy blonde hair before he sat down on the couch.

 

“I’d offer you a drink, but it won’t help you.”  Kyle sighed and sat in a chair near him.  “What’s wrong?”

 

Warren stayed near Kyle, focusing intently on Ben.  Not so much making sure nothing happened as he was just staying to learn the gossip.  

 

“Who told you?”  Ben asked first.  Kyle raised an eyebrow.  “Seriously, Kyle, who told you?”  Warren’s lip twitched and he tried not to smile.  

  
“Your ring?”  Kyle motioned to his friend’s hand. “That’s a pretty good indicator.”  

 

Ben grimaced and looked down.  He’d already gotten into the habit of putting it on, that was dangerous.  

 

“You were happy for this,”  Kyle said softly, “What changed?”

 

“I don’t know if I can do this…if I can be this person,”  Warren started to interrupt him but Kyle held up his hand.  “I’ve never had to be someone’s husband before.  To be honest, I’ve never been much of a boyfriend before Porsche.  I didn’t do things like that.”

 

Warren had long gotten the vibe that Ben was the type to more mess with a girl’s heart than her body, and he had come to assume it to be true.  He struck him as a frat boy type with way too much free time on his hands, often spent drinking and spiking drinks not even necessarily to take a girl home.

 

He’d also gathered that he wouldn’t necessarily be the type to take her home unless it was actually just to get her to sleep.

 

“I don’t, it’s not who I am.”  Ben’s shoulder cracked when he moved it, he was stiff and uncomfortable talking about everything.  

 

“You agreed to this.”  Kyle said slowly.  “If you weren’t ready, you needed to have explained that to her.  If this is something you didn’t want—“

 

“I’m already hers in every single way and she has no idea.”  Ben stopped him.  “She has no clue that I can’t live without her, not at this point.  She’s come to mean everything to me.  She—“  He stopped and lowered his eyes to the floor.  “I’m having nightmares.  I couldn’t sleep the past two nights.”  

 

They had only gotten married three days ago.  

 

“Does she know?”  Warren pressed him.  Ben shrugged.

 

“I can’t always hide them.”  He stopped for a moment.  “She doesn’t know why.”

  
“Because you think you robbed the cradle literally?” Kyle asked.  It was the second time he received a startled reaction from Ben that night.  “We all know that part at the least, Ben, even if some of us know nothing else.  You can’t keep staying here when that upsets you.”

 

“I can’t—“ He needed the right words, but there was no right way to put it.  “Kids.”

 

“Did you talk about children?” Kyle asked, thoroughly confused.  “I was under the impression Porsche couldn’t have children.”  Warren looked confusedly between the two other men and Ben frowned.

 

“That isn’t something people know, she doesn’t like to talk about it.”  Ben told him, a serious expression on his face.  “It upsets her.  Don’t spread that around.”  He didn’t care to know how he had guessed.

 

“Can you tell me what makes you think she wants children?”  

 

Ben paled.

 

“You haven’t spoken about it at all?”  Kyle pushed on.  “Not about names or when or if?  Not about adoption options?  You haven’t spoken about daycares or kindergartens?”  Ben shook his head.  “If you’re having children at all, it’s not any time soon.”

 

“What if I’m like them?”

 

“You think Porsche would let you hurt her child?”  Warren cut in before Kyle could answer this time.  “You’ve lost your mind if you think she’d sit by and let that happen.”

 

“She’s done it before.”  Ben muttered.  Warren looked taken aback, but Kyle hadn’t seemed to have heard anything.  “New York, she let him walk all over her.”

 

“You don’t treat her like that asshole in New York.  There aren’t enough bad things I can say about that—“  Kyle recomposed himself for Ben’s sake because the poor man was genuinely distraught.  “Not a concern. Not in the same respect.”

 

Warren nodded his agreement but Ben looked unconvinced.  

 

“You can stay, but only if you promise to sort this out.”  Kyle yawned, deciding that this was something best left to Ben to figure out.  “You know your options of places to stay.  I’d offer my services but unfortunately I’m too emotionally involved and would have to take Porsche’s side on this one.”  He glanced over at his friend again.  “You only maybe could meet the requirement for unreasonable behavior…if you stay here long enough, possibly desertion.”

 

Warren stayed downstairs a little longer and offered Ben a hug, something still fairly foreign to the other man when it came from parties other than Porsche and sometimes her mother.  

  
“Best sort this out before the big day, right?”  The cowboy told him when he stepped back.  Ben nodded, still a little pale.  Porsche had organized some silly little party in about a week and a half’s time for them.  “Try and get some sleep.”

 

Porsche on the other hand wasn’t enjoying the separation.  Pacing around their room, she was more than stressed.  Ben hadn’t fallen asleep, neither had she, and without any words had just up and left.  She had listened to the car start and move away.  She knew where he was going, but that only made it worse because it meant she couldn’t call them for help.

 

She didn’t want to call her dad, for fear of an ‘I told you so’ moment but if she called her mom, eventually the same thing would happen anyways. 

She entered the home only a car ride later and it was like her dad had known something was wrong.  He was sitting at the table already, waiting for her.

 

“I screwed up.”  She couldn’t keep it inside anymore.  Her words came out at a whimper and tears pooled at the corners of her eyes, threatening to spill over onto her cheeks.  “Daddy…”

 

Mercy watched them from the stairs, having heard the car in their driveway.  The relationship between her daughter and husband was always confusing and a little rocky, but no matter how many times Porsche cursed him out she would always come back to him.  At the age of twenty-five, there she was crying in her father’s arms.  

 

Adam didn’t say anything, if he did he knew his daughter would chew him out.  Maybe she needed to be pushed to that point in order to see reason, but not in that moment.  She just needed somewhere to be.

 

“Where are you going?”  Mercy whispered, Porsche didn’t seem to notice it but her mate did.  

 

“I’m going to rip him a new one.”  Her son growled lowly, on the steps behind her.  She turned around and smiled at him gently, he frowned.  “He hurt her.”

 

“They’ll work this out on their own.” Mercy was ashamed to say she wasn’t entirely against rattling Ben a bit, but she knew that he and her daughter both meant well.  Unfortunately, sometimes they just got their wires crossed.  “Anyways, what would Porsche do if she found out you were trying to fight her battles for her?”

 

Roy seemed to think better of his idea after realizing that.  

 

“Shhhh,”  Adam soothed, as if he were rocking a colicky child again.  This time he shot his son a look that had his youngest hurrying silently back upstairs in a heartbeat.  Mercy nodded and followed him, much slower.  

 

“Did I make a mistake?”  Porsche wasn’t sure which was more fragile right now, her own heart or her wolf.  “I shouldn’t have pushed him, it was so stupid.  I knew he was scared.  I just…I don’t know it was stupid—“

 

“What do you think?”  She opened her mouth to respond and he raised an eyebrow.  “Really think, not what’s racing through your mind.”

 

“He’s scared.”  Her voice cracked.  “He’s always scared with me.”

 

“Explain to me what happened.”  Adam guided her to the couch.  He had already made cocoa, anticipating her arrival with some unseen foresight that only a mother should have.  Really, Warren had just called him to let him know his daughter was likely to be on her way as Ben had just pulled up at his home.  

 

He rested her mug on the coffee table in front of them.

 

“I’m sorry, your mom bakes, not me.”  

 

Porsche sniffled and nodded, still pressed into her father’s side.  She looked much smaller there, like she was a young child again and Adam was ok with that.  He had missed time spent with her that he hadn’t missed with her sister or brother.

 

“He’s been having nightmares again,”  She explained, trying to steady her breathing.  “Not all of them when he’s been sleeping.  Some about his…some about London and some about grade school.”  She knew her father understood what both of those entailed.  “He dreamt he hurt me the other day.  Someone was screaming and there was blood, and I was just there amidst it all but smaller.”  

 

Adam’s whole body language changed upon hearing that and his daughter knew it.

 

“He’s never hurt me,”  She whispered.  “Not even when we’re running. A play fight a few moons ago left me scratched for a moment or two, but that was the thicket not him.”

 

“You promise me.”  Even though he knew she wasn’t lying to him.  

 

“I promise,”  She bit her lip as tears pooled again.  “I tried to talk to him about it but it’s when he left.  He just got up and left, he didn’t say anything.  I heard the car and I waited for him, but he never came back.”

 

“He’s safe.”  Her father promised in return, knowing she’d need to hear it.  For a young wolf, Ben had been through too much already.  Porsche nodded.  “Will you walk me through the dream again?”

 

“I didn’t catch any of the beginning.”  She admitted quietly, she shut her eyes in an attempt to remember details.  “I don’t think he’d let it slip until the end.  There was just a voice screaming, it could have been mine but honestly I couldn’t tell you.  I didn’t recognize it.  I could all but taste blood and I was looking down at me—only…I wasn’t me?”  She was trying to place why the image of herself ingrained in her brain was wrong.  I was smaller, a lot smaller, and I looked like I do in the picture that’s in your wallet.”  

 

Adam’s jaw tightened and suddenly Porsche’s voice wasn’t distraught, it was confused.  She realized she didn’t understand anything that was happening in the dream, because the girl wasn’t quite right.

 

“My eyes aren’t blue.”  

 

Adam’s heart all but stopped.

 

“Not both of them?”  She looked up at her father now, concern furrowing her brow.  “I have one blue eye when Mei is driving but that doesn’t happen so much.  Does he think my eyes are blue?”

 

Whether or not Ben Shaw knew the exact colour and shade of his daughter’s eyes was least concerning to Adam at this point.  He tried to keep his tone soft, he didn’t want to upset her more especially with the topic he was about to bring up.

 

“You know your mother told me the doctor’s concerns.”  Adam started slowly, encouraging his daughter to take the cocoa into her hands.  “About your future…”

 

She stiffened beside him.

 

“I know it’s not a topic you like, I understand why.  It’s unfair that there’s so much emphasis still today on whether or not a woman can have children, but I need to know one thing.”  He was careful, very careful when he chose his words.  “Have you and Ben ever mentioned, even in passing, children?”

 

He regretted handing her the mug, but caught it as her hands flew to her mouth and the waterworks started again.  

 

“I’m the worst example because your mother and I didn’t talk about it, but it’s something that sometimes needs to be mentioned.”  Adam admitted, kissing the top of her head while she cried again.  He couldn’t say _at least that’s all it is_ because the topic was obviously touchy for both of them.  “Especially with what’s involved.”

 

“It’s my fault. I should have told him it’s ok.”

 

“He’s just looking out for you,”  Adam murmured.  “He knows how much it bothers you.  He has a lot more to work through.  You can’t rebuild Chicago in a day.”

 

“It’s been almost three centuries.”  She would know when the Great Chicago fire was, she was her mother’s daughter.  

 

“Father to daughter, I have to say I still don’t think he’s good enough for you.”  Porsche hiccuped a laugh and he smiled.  “But, as a human being I can say that we often try to make those we care about happy.  He’s only trying to make you happy this time and he needs time to think about what that means for him and what he’s risking.”

 

They sat in silence for a little bit.

 

“He’s not leaving you.”  Adam finally sighed.

 

“How do you know?”

 

“I tried to stop this,”  Her father admitted, though it was something she had already known.  “If I can’t stop it and the Marrok can’t stop it, no one can—not even himself.”

 

She seemed to chew on the idea for a little while.  

 

“You are always welcome here,”  It was an offer to stay in her old room and she wanted to refuse so badly.  She wanted to go home to where her room and her clothes all had his distinct scent.  She knew it would only serve to simultaneously make her more stressed and slightly comforted, though and thought better of it.  “Ben or no Ben.”

 

“Roy hasn’t turned my room into his personal gym?”

 

“We wouldn’t ever let him.”  Adam smiled as she made her way to the stairs.  


	8. Story 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> somewhat continued from the last one

”Your wedding is tomorrow, you realize that?”  Kyle asked the blonde man that was sitting on his couch with a beer in hand.  It wasn’t the blonde man that should be sitting on the couch because it wasn’t the one that lived there. “And we don’t keep beer in the fridge.”  

 

“It’s in there now,”  Ben ignored the first question.  Instead he continued staring at a blank tv screen.  As Kyle approached, he realized his friend was struggling to control tremors in both of his hands.

 

“You need to call her.”  Warren’s voice was just forceful enough to make the other man turn around, appearing behind his mate.  Kyle made a noise to say he agreed.  “This is something you need to face once and for all, Ben.  You need to be honest with her, she can take it.”

 

“You know I can’t do that.”

 

“We don’t know,”  Kyle sat on the edge of the couch and rested a hand on the taller man’s shoulder.  “You don’t talk about it much, but I wonder if we know more than she does.”

 

The silence was all the confirmation he needed.

 

“She’s your wife and your _mate_.”

  
“That won’t matter,”  Ben disagreed, “Not when she knows the extent of the reasons this shouldn’t have happened.”

 

“She knows about the worst of you,”  Warren was trying to gently urge him the best way that he could, by pointing out the truth.  “She’s seen what you’re capable of.”  The former Brit had stayed with Kyle and Warren the first time it had happened that he had a very vivid dream about his first pack.  He had learned since to deal with it, even if he let slip and showed Porsche, but he would shy away from her.  

 

The day after one of those, he’d often put off coming home for as long as he could.

 

“Call her,”  Kyle gestured to the phone already on his lap.  “Tell her you’ll be there tomorrow.  It’s awkward for us if we show up without you.”

 

Ben’s gaze shifted to the cellphone.

 

Porsche knew the phone would ring before it did.  She didn’t know how she knew, because Ben had effectively kept her out for the whole of a week and a half.  Her father had taken to staying with her, because she’d cracked and needed to go back to her home (technically Ben’s as the apartment her father helped pay for was in Seattle).  Jumping to get her phone was the fastest he’d seen her move in days.  

 

He turned his head casually, though obviously listening in, as she paced the room.  Her heart rate had picked up, her hands weren’t shaking—he’d been concerned about that new development—her eyes brightened.  

 

“Porsche—“

 

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,”  She breathed out, “Oh my God, this was my fault.  I shouldn’t have pushed you into this.  I didn’t even really ask, I just kind of rushed you and it was wrong.  I’m sorry I fuck this up all the time.  It’s always me—“

 

“Will you shut up for five minutes?”  She stopped, he wasn’t angry though.  He sounded tired, but she could picture the lazy smile on his face and the amusement dancing in his eyes like it did every time she wouldn’t let him speak.  “Porsche, it’s not your fault.”

 

“I—“

 

“It’s not, and you need to stop blaming yourself,”  Now he was serious.  Her heart skipped a beat and her eyes caught her father’s hand twitch.  “I’m sorry.  I ran away, I run away every time.  If you didn’t push me a bit I wouldn’t do anything useful.  I don’t care that we got married,”  Her father shot her a questioning look and she smiled sheepishly.  “I wouldn’t have cared so much if you didn’t want to ever marry anyone in your life, either.”  Warren made a noise on his end as if he were clearing his throat.  “Maybe I’d have minded, but only because I knew it was something you wanted.”

 

“I know, but still—“ She protested.

 

“Shut up, please.  You’re seriously worse than anyone else in your family, even your father.”

 

“He’s here,”  She turned to face her father totally across the room.

 

“Well, I…fuck,” Ben spluttered. “Oh, crap, I didn’t mean…shit—“

 

“Stop, you’re going to give him angina.”  Porsche giggled despite the circumstance.  

“I’m disappointed you weren’t more creative this time,”  Adam said casually, “This is my daughter you’re speaking to.”

 

“Sorry,” Ben shrugged.  Warren gave him a warning look and Kyle frowned, out of the loop entirely.  “Your wife’s put a mouth on her, though.  I wonder if she’s the one who taught her—“

 

“Ben,”  She whined, tugging at her hair.  Her father’s expression was unreadable. “Oh, now you’ve done it.”

 

Realization dawned on Kyle’s face as he listened to one side of the conversation and he couldn’t help but laugh.  

 

“I love you, ok?”  Ben hurried, realizing he’d have to finish this phone call before his alpha came back with something.  “I love you and I’m sorry that this one is on me.  I’ve fucked up, I’m fucked up, it’s very cliché.  I’m coming home, we can talk about—“

 

“No!” Kyle shouted, “It’s bad luck—“

 

“Can anyone let me finish a sentence?”  Ben snapped.  “I’m going home.  You want me out of your house anyways and my stuff for tomorrow is all there.”

 

Her heart beat faster if at all possible.  She had tried to give him the space he so clearly needed in order to sort out his head but it was killing her inside.  It slipped her mind sometimes, but Ben had been there through everything Porsche had ever needed him to be there for.  Even when he was actively avoiding her when she came back from Aspen Creek, he helped her against the wrath (that she invoked) of the New Jersey Devil. He had been the one to drop everything and practically lie his way out to New York City when she needed him.

 

He stayed with her that whole time.

 

Ben had been the person to hold her hand when her ticket into med school came (“it’s a big fucking envelope, you really think they give those if you didn’t get in?”). He encouraged her to go even though he knew she was distressed by the separation, even with it only being three days a week.  

She didn’t need him anymore than she needed coffee in the morning—she could do without but life would be just that more unbearable.

 

Porsche was much more willing to give up coffee for her whole life if it meant she had Ben with her.

 

“Really?”  She asked him, trying not to get her hopes up.

 

“Give me a little bit.”  It was a promise and she bit her lip, nodding her head even though he couldn’t see.  The line went dead with her still gripping the phone tightly.

 

“I’m going to stay until he gets here.”  Her father told her, relaxing back onto the couch.  She knew he was more on edge after the phone call than he had been before and had the decency at least to look embarrassed. “Sometimes I think he’s forgotten you’re my daughter, but he says things like that and he knows full well.”

 

“I made him promise not to say anything stupid…” She sighed. 

 

Her dad made a noise that she thought might be a snort but she didn’t care too much.  She had no doubt he’d have some serious words for Ben, but he also knew better than to share them now.  He sat in silence for a long while as she paced, thoughts flipping rapidly through her head.

 

“Do you know?”  Porsche asked him.  He had been Ben’s alpha for as long as he had been in the country.  “Any of it.”

 

Her father nodded. She already knew that though, he'd told her before. Adam had told his daughter she needed to hear it from the horse's mouth. That this was too important to convey as a third party. 

 

"Understand something," He said suddenly. "You're my daughter and I shouldn't need to defend him for anything. He has worked the hardest I've ever seen him work when he's trying to make you happy. You don't remember him much from when you were younger and you didn't know him when he first came. He was aggressive but still fairly withdrawn. He was rude. The list I could write you is extensive. 

 

"Most of all, he didn't know how to really care about something other than himself and the concept of pack. That began to change, he made friends and saw connections and similar things in other people.  When you were born, though, he still had some growing up to do. He grew up alongside you, if you'd like." He seemed to think for a moment. "In that way, his own attraction to you isn't that unexpected. He may have helped watch you but he was relearning as the time went on and you were learning for the first time. You were a peer."

 

She looked at him, thoroughly confused. 

 

"He didn't grow up the same way you did.” 

 

“I know that,” She bristled, “I’ve seen it.”

  
“I think, given the circumstances, there’s a lot he’s chosen to keep and has successfully kept from you.”  Adam heard the car before she did and turned his head to the door.  “He’s almost back.”

 

“Thank you.”  She whispered, stopping entirely to look at him.  “For being here.”

 

He had an amused look on his face, there was nothing in the world that could keep him from his children when they needed him.  It was nice, though, to hear her voice her appreciation.  He stood up and hugged her.  

 

She had grown up in an interesting circumstance, but one that was nonetheless forgiving.  Touch was important, it was affectionate and safe (though she’d experienced it in other realms as well).  It was how she’d come to know love.  No one ever put her down as a baby.  If her mother did, it was to give her daughter time to breathe and settle in her own space.  Her dad would pick her right back up again as soon as he was home.  She grew up falling asleep on Kyle and Warren when they babysat, yanking on Ben’s hand when he wouldn’t pay attention—not that the last one had changed much.  When Honey had been more than a little cold when she was a mere infant, Porsche had found her way (though not of her own accord, obviously) into the woman’s arms and heart.  

 

She didn’t immediately step back when the door opened, her dad hadn’t let go and she was too tired to argue with whatever look he was casting over her shoulder at her mate.  She had a feeling it was angry and dangerous and she had to admit this time in her dad’s eyes it was justifiable.

 

“Get some sleep, both of you.”  He told her as he stepped back.  Ben didn’t look at his alpha as he brushed past and out the door.

 

“Hey…” Porsche fiddled with her fingers as she looked at him.  

 

“You look like shit.”  He mumbled.  She wasn’t surprised.  She had bags under her eyes and was too lazy to fix them with makeup, not that she bothered with makeup daily anyways.  

 

“Did you come here to offend me?”

 

“Yes.”  She snorted but had to smile at his sarcasm.  “I came to apologize.  I’m a grown man and I shouldn’t run away from problems.”

 

“Did Kyle teach you that?”  She crossed her arms.  “It sounds like him.”

 

“He might have suggested I try it.”  They stared at each other in silence for a moment.  “I’ve lied to you…about everything.”  This was news to her.  She was long enough a werewolf that she should catch lies, maybe not of omission but certainly one’s he’s uttered.  “You know what I did.  I didn’t lie about that.”

 

She nodded.

 

“But I’ve kept more from you than I should have and that’s my fault.”  His hands were fussing, but more frantically than her own.  “It’s the reason you don’t always understand when I’m upset and I know that.  It’s on me, not on you.

 

“And I know that it’s my fault you worry sometimes I’ll leave or that I’m not as interested as I say I am.”  He let out a breath.  “It’s not you, you haven’t done anything for me not to tell you.  I don’t talk about it.”

 

Porsche wanted to interrupt and knew it wasn’t the time.  She didn’t like seeing him upset and she needed to make him feel better.  He knew that and that he wouldn’t be able to hold back all his floodgates if he kept speaking.  Ben tried to hurry it along before she got bits and pieces that she didn’t need to see.  She could hear them.

 

“You were right.  The first night, when I had the nightmare…the first one you ever saw.”  She tried to think back to what had happened.  “You were right and wrong I guess…she was just as bad as he was.  She didn’t help.”

 

Realization dawned on her.  The first time she had ever walked in his nightmares was the first night they even had a mate bond.  Neither of them had known it would happen so when it did, he’d been startled into waking her up.  

 

He was momentarily surprised by her embrace and he didn’t immediately hug her back.  It took him almost a full minute to wrap his arms around her and press his lips to the top of her head.  He was deep in thought, almost in awe of the fact she hadn’t shied away from him.

 

“This is not the same thing,”  She whispered, listening to his heartbeat.  “I want you to understand that.  You in no way manipulated me or hurt me.”

 

He didn’t say anything.  

 

“I promise,”  She wasn’t lying.  “Ben, I had the biggest crush on you growing up.  That was my own fault, but you were there for everything.  You never once did anything,”  She chose her words carefully, “Inappropriate.”

 

“I don’t know what I’m doing.”

 

“Neither do I,”  Porsche offered him a small smile, leaning back to catch his eyes.  “You think I’ve dated someone so seriously I’ve married them before?”

 

“I don’t know, you’re your father’s daughter.”  Ben tried to joke, though his anxiety was bleeding through his words.  “For all I know you’ve been married twice.”

 

“He’s heard you say enough dumb shit today, don’t mention Christy.”  Porsche didn’t particularly like her sister’s mother and it was nothing against her dad or Jesse or even for her own mom.  It was just a sickening feeling she got when she was around her.

 

Also because the woman had yelled at her brother when he was just a baby and Porsche had never forgiven her for it—not even when karma hid tuna in her car’s ventilation system.

 

Karma.

 

Not Porsche.

 

“You want children.”  

 

“I can’t have them,”  She reminded.

 

“You want to.”  Ben pressed.  “I can’t give you that, I can’t even promise it will ever be in the cards.”

 

“My uncle didn’t particularly want kids, but he’s got twins.”  She was of course referring to her uncle Charles Cornick who had, for his own reasons, had reservations about children.  

 

“I don’t want you to hold out for it.”  She cocked her head to the side and frowned.  “I’m serious, Porsche.”  She knew he was, his heart was racing.  “I can’t.  You need to really recognize that we might still be having this discussion after your brother father’s his seventh kid.”  She took a breath through her nose to keep from laughing at the thought of her brother and seven children.

 

“You really don’t get it, do you?”  It was his turn to frown at her.  “Children have never been in the cards for me, Ben.  It only upsets me because it upsets other people, and I know that sounds silly.  How does a young woman approach someone she might seriously consider marrying and say ‘oh but if you want biological kids, it might be super expensive or impossible’?  How do you bring it up?

 

“You didn’t care, from the first time I mentioned it.  You shrugged it off like it didn’t matter and that was fine.  I didn’t know you had your reasons, but it was so relieving to know it wouldn’t matter to someone.”

 

He was taken aback.

 

“You forget I’ve been a werewolf my whole life.  I grew up in this.  I’ve watched people try with everything and I’ve seen it ruin people.”  She squeezed his hand.  “So there, we’ve finally been honest with each other that this is something we can’t do.  Point blank, I don’t want this idea in your head anymore that I won’t be happy.  I just want you to be happy and safe, I didn’t mean to accidentally pressure you.”

 

“I married you for a reason.”  

 

“Yeah, it’d be nice if you remembered it for a change.”  She stuck her tongue out at him.  Ben made a face back, still slightly uncomfortable but much more relaxed than when he had arrived.  

 

“Maybe we should go to bed…we have a long day.”  He glanced nervously at the clock.  She kissed his cheek and nodded.  “I’m sorry that I’m not great with all of this.  I know I should be used to some of it by now.”

 

Porsche chose not to acknowledge it was her dad that had said it but she hadn’t ever really come to full understanding of what it meant until she heard it out of someone else’s mouth.

 

“You didn’t grow up in a family like mine, Ben.”  She offered.  “I mean we’re werewolves all of us so we’re a little overly affectionate, but still.  What happened aside, you weren’t treated the same way.  You started from scratch.”  His cheeks were flushed a little.  “You did a good job of it.”

 

They stayed there a little while longer, just looking at each other.  Finally, she turned towards the stairs, hoping he would follow.  Her heart dropped a little when she didn’t hear him move as she reached the first step.

 

“I need you to understand something else,”  Ben’s mouth was dry and he didn’t know why he hadn’t quit while he was ahead, but if he was going to take Kyle’s advice for real then he had to say it now else it would haunt him.  “I wanted to hurt them.”

 

“I know you did.”

 

“How can you be so calm about that?”  He pleaded her to react.  She faltered for a moment.

 

“I’m not saying what you did was ok,”  It wasn’t confusion in her voice, it was the dangerous sound of someone thinking an argument through.  “It will never be ok.  I’m not saying I understand, either, not completely.  Though, I wouldn’t have minded watching you rough New York up a bit.”  He knew exactly what moment she was referring to and he startled a little.  He hadn’t realized she had known he’d run into Bohdan a few times after she’d left the pack.  “I…You made a difficult choice and you’ve proven you’re stronger than all of it.  It’s not my place to forgive you, but I can’t condemn you.  You’ve never given me a reason to distrust you.”


	9. Chapter 9

It always kind of daunted him, the idea that she had been with far more people than he had (though Ben would never admit it to her in so many words).  It was never upsetting in and of itself, just stress-inducing.  He was living with a fear of disappointing her only made more apparent by her inability to keep her pants on.

 

Porsche wasn’t a slut, but he wasn’t sure how long young women were insatiable sex monsters for…especially as werewolves.

 

More confusing, though, was her blatant lack of confidence.  Porsche knew she was attractive, she purposefully dangled it in front of him (and in front of others) and he didn’t mean it in a sexist way this time.  She knew what she did to people and she loved the reactions.

 

His mate didn’t know enough about him, he had shied from telling her even at her age of twenty, to know to let him have control for his own ease of mind.  It was concerning that she either inherently understood or that she genuinely never wanted any say in what happened.

 

It’s not like it was particularly boring and Ben was really good at finding reasons not to give into her when she lay on his bed in almost literally nothing so her sex drive didn’t really matter.  He just didn’t understand it.  Here was someone who knew she could have anything she wanted from him—both generally speaking and when she gave him bedroom eyes—and she didn’t act on it.  

 

What’s worse is he was almost positive he’d put his finger on it.  That was the real reason he tried to ignore her advances some nights, even when it was nearly impossible.

 

Porsche had never had any sort of non-sexual relationship and it definitely wasn’t helpful to her that she was mated to someone just as lost in the relationship department, if not more so.  Ben reasoned at least she had more actual healthy relationships with family and friends than he had even today.  

 

It was getting ridiculous, though, and she had to know that.  She was trying to avoid addressing her problem, and he was being hypocritical but it was time to bring it up.  

 

“Sit up, we’re talking.”  He didn’t even give her a spare moment when he entered the house.  Porsche’s eyes widened and he didn’t fail to notice the way she had managed a tan during her weekend trip or the way her white crop top showed it off.  She was lounging on his couch and he was not positive that she was wearing panties under her soffe shorts.  “You’re not in trouble, stop being so scared.”

 

“You’re angry.”  She accused.

 

“I’m frustrated,” He corrected her with a grimace.  “I wouldn’t be so polite if I was angry, would I?”

 

Porsche laid very still, watching her mate warily.  It slowly dawned on Ben that he had absolutely no idea how to tell her to stop without genuinely hurting her.

 

“Ok…fuck…well, we’re just going to have to talk things out so don’t jump down my throat.”  He warned her.  “You don't want to have sex and it’s obvious and it’s getting on my last nerve.”

 

“I—“

 

“No, don’t even defend yourself on this one.”  He cut her off.  She pressed herself as far into the couch as she could because he was leaning over her face.  “I understand the really—pardon, love—kinky situation we’re in better than you do.  Unfortunately for you, I’m a little more interested in you than the…” He really did try his best not to curse around her, force of habit from her youth.  “Shitheads—much politer than what I was going to say—you’ve shagged before.  To be quite honest, both of us think you’re the sexiest thing walking but I’m not going to keep you around for the sake of keeping my dick wet.”

 

She bit her lip nervously.

 

“I think I might actually really love you and I need you to stop trying to fuck that up.”

 

She froze and Ben immediately regretted what he’d said.

 

“I just want you to stop thinking that my interest is solely based on whether or not you’re putting out the minute I step through the door.  It’s getting really difficult to ignore when he wants to pin you down and fuck you until you can’t walk.”  And Ben really didn’t want to take anything that far, not given the initial circumstances but definitely not given her intentions.  “And I know you aren’t interested at least a signification portion of the time.  Why do you do that?  Do you really think I’m going to leave this late in the game just because I don’t have you stripping naked every five minutes?”

 

Porsche didn’t know what to say.  Her big brown eyes swelled with tears and her bottom lip trembled.  He hadn’t expected her to cry.

 

“You need to stop thinking that’s all I want.”  Ben repeated himself, more gently this time as he leaned back out of her space.  “And you need to actually act on what you want.”  Even if it meant he’d give up some control of his own.  “You can’t let me do everything I want to you if you don’t want it.”

 

“I trust you.”

 

“Trust yourself,”  He told her seriously and she nodded, still visibly shaken.  “There’s a lot of twisted shit I’ve done, Porsche, and you’ve seen it.”  Against his own will, he might add.  “But I’m not—I can’t read your mind every second of the day and especially when you keep me out.  I’m not always going to be strong enough to say no for you and it’s really hard to tell sometimes if you won’t say it yourself…It makes me feel sick about myself.”

 

She hadn’t taken a minute to think about him, he wasn’t surprised.  It’s not that she never thought about him, but she didn’t quite get good enough glimpses of reasons this might really affect him even more negatively than she was affecting herself.  

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

“What are you sorry about right now?”  He stepped back and looked at her, puzzled.  “I don’t need an apology.  I need you to…address this.  Tell me what I need to do.  Do I need to take my key back so you aren’t over here all the time?”  It wasn’t supposed to be a punishment, even if she might take it that way.  He needed her to figure out what she needed.  “Do you need me to ignore you?  Should I stay at your parents’ house with you so you can learn to relax around me?  Porsche, be honest with me.  Please.”

 

She wrapped her arms around herself and he felt guilty.  He had upset her more than he had wanted to.  She was more self-conscious than he had expected.

 

“I don’t meant to doubt you,”  She wouldn’t look at him, even when he decided to sit on patch of floor next to where she was on the couch.  Ben wanted to remind her that he really for the most part had just yelled at her that he loved her, so it wasn’t something that she could be expected to know.  “And I like having sex with you.”

 

“Yeah, you’re a great lay.”  He rested his chin on the cushion.  “That’s not really the issue I’m trying to point out.”

 

“I don’t know.  I had a huge crush on you and you never looked at me.  When you finally did, I couldn’t get you to act on it…I just thought maybe I wasn’t interesting enough.”

 

“Sex doesn’t make you more interesting.”  He snorted.

 

“I don’t know,”  Porsche whispered, finally looking at him.  The tear-streaked cheeks tugged at his heart strings in a way that told him he was turning into a sap.  “I don’t know what I’m doing.”

 

“You act as if I have all the answers,”  Ben gave her a goofy smile in an attempt to make her laugh.  “I don’t, honestly.  I’ve never done any of this before.”  

 

She nodded at him but she hadn’t smiled yet.  He scooted backwards, removing his face from the couch, and opened his arms.  She blinked, tears still dappling her eyelashes, and slid off of her cushion to crawl into his lap.  He knew how she worked, he had learned it time and time again.  Porsche was a physical person, if she was crying the best way to comfort her was with a hug.  

 

Ben had long-suspected the sentiment would translate into how she dealt with internal problems.  

 

“I gave you your key because I wanted you to have someplace to feel safe.”  The older wolf let himself curl around her enough that his lips were pressed to her shoulder.  “I knew you were butting heads with your dad and I didn’t want you to ever feel unwelcome here.  I didn’t mean for it to translate into a place where you felt this constant, overbearing stress to try and…honestly I don’t know what to call it.  I didn’t mean for it.”

  
She nodded.

 

“I know, you feel hurt.”  He tried again,  “You wonder why you’re not normal and why people judge you as if you’re your mother.  You think your parents passed you off onto Charles every summer and part of winter break because they didn’t care about you, but you also know that had nothing to do with it.  Everyone was trying to keep you safe.”  Ben tried to give her a moment to think about it.  “I know he’s still on the back of your mind.”  She curled closer against him and he felt her start to shake.  

 

If you could even call him her ex, Bohdan Bzovsky had made himself a home in the back of the young woman’s mind.  Ben had tasked himself with trying to undo it all, even though he knew it was up to her.

 

Ben knew too many specifics, how Bzovsky had treated her and what he had said to her.  He knew that the other man had done this to others as well and that he had convinced Porsche she wasn’t worth keeping around—probably because of everything else he knew the young girl held in her heart.  

 

“I’m a lot of things, Porsche, and I can’t promise I won’t hurt you.”  Ben’s hold on her tightened a little.  “I’m not going to leave, though.”

 

“I don’t know how to keep you.”

 

“You don’t need to.”  He murmured, “You’re keeping me just fine by being yourself.”


	10. Chapter 10

Ben stood, leaned against a table on the far side of the park.  He was watching her carefully, she was just being silly and messing around with her cousins who had flown in for the ordeal.  Porsche had organized a picnic with friends and family in lieu of an actual wedding celebration.

 

That suited Ben just fine.  

 

Her dark hair was in a braided headband with just a few loose, curled tendrils in her face—courtesy of her cousin Sora—and it complemented her nicely.  She was in a dress, though he wouldn’t call it a wedding dress himself.  It fit her top and flared out but fell enough above the knee that he found himself glancing down a little too frequently.  It had some lace, but wasn’t crazy.  He thought she might be wearing makeup, but honestly couldn’t tell.  

 

There she was, just in the sunlight gossiping with family.  

 

He knew the Marrok was approaching him, but chose to avoid acknowledging him until he absolutely couldn’t avoid him anymore.

 

“Should I congratulate the happy couple?” The voice held amusement that made Ben more uncomfortable if even possible.

 

“You already have.”  Ben made reference to his arrival, without peeling his eyes away from her.  Bran made a noise of agreement and stayed silent for a little while, more because he was thinking than because he was being polite.  “Why didn’t you stop it?”

 

“Would you have been appreciative if I had?”  Bran asked him, eyes focused on his granddaughter as well.  “Would it have changed anything?”  It was Ben’s turn to stay silent.  “It wasn’t my job to stop it, if Adam had really been rationally concerned and wanted you gone, I might have listened.”  A smile played on the corner of his lips.  “You won’t hurt her anymore.”

 

Ben was taken aback by the man’s words to the point that he glanced sideways before focusing again on Porsche.  As if she knew he was uncomfortable, she glanced over in his direction and her smile fell to a concerned expression.  Ben shot a smile back at her to try and alleviate her worry.  Bran waved at her, enjoyment written on his face.

 

“You don’t see the future.”

 

“You told her the truth.”  It wasn’t a question the Marrok was posing, he already knew it to be true.  He could see it in the way Porsche and Ben didn’t tiptoe around each other anymore.  It was obvious the older of the two was more relaxed, even surrounded by so many people.  “It will help.  Porsche is miraculously understanding.”

 

“I made a mistake in not telling her sooner.”  Ben murmured.

 

“It’s good you acknowledge that.”  Bran agreed.  There was silence again, this time more comfortable than the last.  Porsche was smiling again, this time because of something silly Fallon seemed to have whispered to her.  Bran chuckled at the sight of grandchildren that he never really expected to have enjoying themselves.  “Are you going to take her to see where you come from?”

 

Ben snorted.

 

“I know she would find it interesting.”  

 

“You of all people know why I can’t and wouldn’t do that.”  The younger man shook his head again.  He was aware now that his alpha (and father-in-law) was watching them curiously.  

 

“I don’t know, new powers, old friends.”  Bran said casually.  “I’ve spoken to a few people.”

 

Ben finally turned round to the man beside him, absolutely shocked.  

 

“You’ve shown her everything else.”  Bran shrugged, looking much younger and much less intimidating than someone like him should.  Porsche, ever tuned in to what her mate was doing looked up again, confused.  “She always wanted to go.”

 

Ben bit back a comment about how he had told her several times to see the world on her own.  

 

“Sending a girl who can see ghosts into the Old World?”

 

“You’re considering it.”  Bran smiled and Ben frowned in response.  

 

He was thinking about it…why was he thinking about it?  He had puzzled himself.  After everything that had happened, chances he’d been given, the happiness he had found here, was he really considering going back for any extended amount of time?

 

“I don’t understand.”  

 

“Talk to her about it,”  Bran leaned back against the table again. 


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is rated M. forewarning

Porsche tried to ignore the cellphone lighting up constantly next to her.  She hadn’t slept in 36 hours and she desperately needed to pass this.  Ben wasn’t normally the one to keep her from studying, but her phone had been buzzing off the hook for the past fifteen minutes and she didn’t have it in her to put him on “Do Not Disturb”.

 

After ten more minutes—and realizing she had read the same page of her medical textbook six times—she gave in, slammed it shut, and answered.

 

“You know I’m studying, can you stop?”  She growled into the receiver, all but ready to cry.  “I can’t focus, I need to pass this.  I’m tired, I’m hungry, I haven’t fucking slept.  Leave me alone.”

 

“I’m outside.”  She heard his voice through the door and through the phone and turned, startled.  Just how asleep was she?  He let himself in with the key.  “I just got to the door, I’d been in the car.”

 

“I can’t have you here,”  Her voice rose a few octaves.  “I’m studying.”

 

“I know.”  He nodded, holding out a bag.  “And I know you haven’t eaten.”

 

Normally Porsche wasn’t a fan of fast food.  It had nothing much to do with her actual health, it just normally was anything but appetizing.  He was right though, she hadn’t eaten, she had nothing in the kitchen…and it wasn’t fast food.

 

“Thai?”

 

“You don’t eat fast food and it’s all that was on my way here.”  He admitted,  “But at least I know your order.”  She was amazed, absolutely amazed.  “Samuel warned me it’s only going to get worse with your residency.”

 

“You bought me food?”

 

“We legally share an income.”

 

“You drove all the way out here?”  She whispered. 

 

“Oh, don’t get emotional.”  He warned but tears were already in her eyes.  “This is why you need to eat.  No one likes it when you get like this, not even me.”  Ben opened the bag and handed her a styrofoam box.  “Eat before you start wailing, please, or the neighbors will think we’re getting divorced.”

 

He watched her carefully.  Porsche had a tendency to forget to eat when she was overwhelmed.  Her mind worked too fast, but that wasn’t a safe habit for a werewolf and it was one she needed to get out of—she was around blood too often in her chosen field of study.  

 

“I took off work tomorrow.”  Ben told her, sitting on her bed.  Her apartment in Seattle was modest, she didn’t spend more time than she needed to in it.  It was one room with one bath because her long weekends were spent in the Tri-Cities with him.  She had somehow managed to squeeze a desk in where she did all her work, though, and it was covered in paper today.  “Your final isn’t until Thursday.”

 

“I need to study.”

 

“You need to sleep.”  He corrected.  “Desperately.  You can’t stay awake straight until Thursday.”

 

“Coffee says I can.”  She disagreed, she’d already finished dinner and it had been maybe ten minutes since he’d handed it to her.

 

“You’re a medical student?”  The older man questioned with a raised eyebrow and she blushed.  “That’s what I thought.  You’re going to sleep tonight.  You’re too stressed out.”

 

“I need to start a clinical but I need to do well to do that and just—“

 

“Samuel already said he can help you.”  Ben cut her off.

 

“He can help me in terms of timeline and organizing it so that I can still come back to the Tri-Cities on weekends.”  Porsche frowned at him.  “I’m still required to do my clinical here and he can’t get me into that.”

 

They had discovered her uncle had friends in high places concerning connections he could exhaust to keep Porsche safe and happy.  She was right, though, there were only so many things he could work around.

 

Fixing her grades was not a talent of his.

 

“I won’t be able to focus with you here.”  Her big brown eyes were desperately pleading with him.  

 

“I’m only staying until tomorrow.  I took the day off to give me time to drive.  I wasn’t making an eight hour loop in one night.”  He soothed.

 

“What are you doing?”  Porsche’s voice had risen again, anxiety behind the change. 

 

Her mate glanced over his shoulder with a confused look as if it were obvious.  Really, it should have been.  He had gotten up to take off his jeans so he could go to sleep.  If she wasn’t going to sleep, he couldn’t make her, but he knew full well he could tempt her.

 

“I’m tired, I drove a while and I’m ready to go to bed.”  

 

“Can you…ugh!”  He grabbed her wrists when she went to tug her hair and looked into her eyes.  

 

“I’m going to bed.”  It was slow, “You can come to bed and I will let you explain everything to me in the morning.  You can share all these nonsense medical thoughts with me while I drive home. Talk it all through to me, I don’t care, but you need to sleep before you lose your mind.”

 

“Sleep isn’t going to help me.”  Porsche mumbled.  “I’m too stressed, I’m not going to sleep well.  I might as well stay awake.”

 

“There are ways around that.”  She shivered when his lips brushed her ear.  He always had that effect on her, it was embarrassing.  Ben, meanwhile, smirked when he heard her breath catch.  “I think we both know you’ll sleep fine tonight.”

 

“You’re going to keep me up,”  But her sentence turned into a hum when his lips moved down her neck, when had she stood up?  Why had she stood up?  She didn’t have time to process anything before she hit the bed.  “Fuck, I hate you.”

 

“You want me to stop?”  He pulled back.  Porsche was chewing on her lip, unsure whether to hit him for distracting her or for pulling back.  His head was tilted to the side but a boyish grin danced across his face when he realized what she was trying to process.  “You’re angry with me. You do hate me.” The last bit was just him being obnoxious now.

 

“You’re an ass.”  The fingers of her right hand were knotted in his shirt and her left arm hung loosely around his shoulders.  “You promise you’ll let me sleep tonight?”

 

“I don’t know, sometimes you beg for more.”

 

She wanted to make a snarky comment back, but his lips distracted her again.  The biggest inconvenience of sometimes sharing a mind were times like these when she couldn’t figure out whose body was doing what.  Just once she would like to be fully aware of which tongue was her own.  

 

It all kind of blended into sensations, which from previous experience she could say happened anyways.  There was just something so wildly different about feeling everything though, running her hands down Ben’s (now) bare chest and feeling it like he’d touched her, too.  

 

It was just as complicated to explain as it was to experience.  

 

She had found every single one of Ben’s weak spots the first time they had ever slept together, she had a knack for that but had been especially gifted at discovering his.  She knew exactly where to press her lips, where to let her teeth graze him, just how to touch him to make his plan backfire on him.  

 

“No,” She whined because he hadn’t let her get to him this time.  Her attempts to make him fail in his plan backfired on her instead.  “D-don’t—“  She broke off in a gasp.

 

“Why not?”  His arms had locked around her thighs and she couldn’t look at him. “This isn’t a challenge, I’m trying to get you to go to sleep.”

 

Somehow that didn’t kill the mood, or maybe it would have but she couldn’t stop to think about it long enough because she felt his tongue again.

 

“F-f-fuck you,”  Porsche hated when he did this to her to an outstanding degree.  Butterflies were not the description for what her stomach was doing.

 

“Are you going to cum for me,”  Ben’s voice was teasing. She wondered how he could be so light at a time like this.  “Or are you just going to stubbornly try and hold out?”  He innocently returned to his task when she whimpered again.  

 

“I want you,”  Porsche was not the type to beg, or at least she thought she wasn’t but yet here she was.  

 

“He’s not going to let me be gentle right now.”  She could visibly watch his eyes darken when he looked up again and that made her writhe more than the fingers inside her.

 

“G-god, I don’t care.” 


	12. Chapter 12

Ben wasn't sure how he got stuck being designated driver this time. The teenager in the passenger's seat was dead silent, unusual for her. 

 

"Who is celebrating their birthday?" He asked. It wasn't that he actually cared, but something was up. Porsche was rarely at a loss for words. She was clutching a small card to her chest. 

 

"Lianna," She mumbled. "A girl from school."

 

"Any particular reason you don't like her?" Ben asked. "You seem to be doing this rather begrudgingly."

 

Porsche shrugged. 

 

"Or can she tell me her secret?" Porsche finally turned to look at him and he glanced over before returning his eyes to the road. "Anyone who can get you to shut up is a miracle worker."

 

A small smile graced her lips and she laid the card on her lap. 

 

"No one there knows what I am."  

 

Ben didn't see this as much of a problem. He as well as the rest of the pack knew how Mercy and Adam had chosen to take Porsche's being what she is in terms of the public. The young girl told the people she wanted to, to Ben's knowledge that was only one friend she had known since her first day of school. Mercy and Adam were responsible for telling any teachers or school nurses that might need to be in the know. Porsche mostly distanced herself, fear he suspected. Given how strict her father could be with her, he wasn't surprised she frightened herself a little. Porsche didn't have a buffer between girl and wolf, if she wanted to change forms she could in an instant. 

 

“It’s a pool party.”  She mumbled.  “I never learned how to swim.”

 

Ah, yes, Americans and their barbecues and private pools, he should have guessed.  She hadn’t learned to swim, he knew that, and he also wasn’t surprised.  She probably couldn’t even if she’d learned.

 

“So sit out in the yard or something.”  He shrugged, turning right as the GPS instructed.  “Play on your phone, talk to someone.”

 

“It’s embarrassing.” She blushed.  “And they’ll try and teach me.”  

 

“Get your toes wet, make up an excuse.”  Girls, he expected, were less likely to pull each other into the water and potentially drown their friends. 

 

“And say what? That I’m on my period?”  She leaned her head against the glass.  “They’ll offer me a tampon and a bathing suit.”

 

He honestly didn’t know what he was expected to do to alleviate her fears.  She evidently wasn’t going to tell the truth, not that he blamed her.  There weren’t many other options to save face though.  She was thirteen, she should know something as simple as swimming.  It’s a life skill.

 

“You could say your dad couldn’t teach you.”

 

“And explain why mom didn’t?  Or why I didn’t take lessons?”  And now she was crying.  God damn teeny-boppers, always emotional.  “I didn’t want to go.  I told mom and dad to say I couldn’t.”

 

“Did you tell them it was a pool party?”  They were about to reach the house.  She shook her head.  “Ok, that was stupid.  If you’d told them they wouldn’t have pushed the issue.  They just get freaked out because you hang out with grown ups more than kids your own age.”

 

“Because the grown ups don’t invite me to pool parties.”  She grumbled.  Her face turned white as they reached the house.  Even with the engine running and the windows up, he could hear the chatter of young girls in the backyard.  “I don’t want to go.”

 

Ben wanted to crack his skull open on the steering wheel, though he instead rather gently leaned his forehead on it.  Mercy’s daughter was by far the most frustrating human being on the earth and he had no idea why he was always the one getting stuck with her.  He was about to get himself in trouble, too, letting her off the hook.  He also didn’t want to be the reason she accidentally drowned.  

 

“Porsche,”  He growled out when she pushed the door lock back in place.  “Get out of the car.”

 

“You don’t scare me.”  She crossed her arms and waited patiently.  Stubborn, she was too stubborn.  He wasn’t sure which parent she got it from given they were both pretty much the same on that plane.  

 

“Out.”

 

“No.”  He was going to lose the battle, like he always did, no surprises there.

 

Ignoring your alpha’s daughter was pretty damn hard when she had an attitude the way Porsche did.

 

“Fine.  Stay in the fucking car.”  He yanked the vehicle away from the curb and continued speeding down the street.  “If your parents are angry, you’re taking the fall for this.  It was your decision not to tell them it’s a god damn pool party.”

 

“Where are we going?”  Suddenly interested, she placed the card in the glove department.  She would deliver it when they all went to the movies the following weekend with apologies and a story about some fake, extenuating circumstance.  

 

“Well, I’m not bringing you home.  That would be too easy for you.”  He growled.  “I have adult errands to run.  You can sit in the car.”

 

“That’s child abuse.”  She stated matter-o-factly.  

 

He gritted his teeth, insufferable sometimes.  

 

“Why are you so close?”  Porsche asked a few minutes later at a red light.  He turned to her, aggravated but confused.  “Your wolf, Ben, you’re being weird.”

 

Was he?  He hadn’t noticed.  He hadn’t really expected to be in charge of her today.  Normally weekends she spent with her parents and given it was almost summer break for her, she wouldn’t be here much longer.  The week after next she would be in Montana, it had just been decided the past year.  That was the other reason he had expected Mercy and Adam to certainly be in charge.  When they came up busy—one with her younger brother and the other stuck on a flight due to an overnight delay—he thought Warren would take over.  He was sorely mistaken.

 

“Some of us, Porsche, are moon-called and she’s only a few days away.”  

 

“Yeah, but you’re not like this usually.”  She pressed as he placed his foot on the gas again.  “Is it me?  Did I do something?”

 

He deflated and looked at her.  These stupid lights were going to be the death of him.  He just needed to get groceries, how hard was it to not be stopped every five seconds?  

 

“No.”  He said in a voice that should have communicated that he was done talking about it.  She didn’t take it well, not that he should have expected her to.  He had a feeling that he was the only one she’d spoken to about her fear of leaving.  She didn’t like the idea of being sent to Aspen Creek.  She was angry with her father, Ben couldn’t begin to explain his reasoning.  It made sense to him, but he was also an adult.  Porsche had fewer years, less experience, and she clearly didn’t understand the problem. 

 

He watched her fiddle with her fingers until someone honked at him because he hadn’t noticed the light turn green.  Ben promptly showed the other driver what he thought of that and then brushed the hair out of his face with a hand.  

 

“Dad is supposed to take me for ice cream tonight.”  So he’d heard.  It was Adam and the Marrok who had decided some time in Aspen Creek might be best for her.  Mercy had played her part it explaining it, but it hadn’t helped.  Porsche was closer with her father, always had been, and hadn’t taken it well.  

 

“You going to tell him why you’ve been a brat this week?”

 

“I’ve not been a brat.”  She growled.  He snorted, but it lacked amusement.  “He’s giving me away.”

 

“I’ve told you, your mother has told you, the bloody Marrok has told you, that’s not what this is.”  He pulled into the parking lot a few minutes later.  She didn’t speak, even when he opened his door.  Sighing, he sat back down. 

 

 “I wasn’t there when they made the decision, I was with you.”  He reminded,  “I just know that this isn’t your parents passing you off for the sake of getting rid of you.  No one in this pack was born the way you were.  We don’t know how to best teach you.  Charles and his daughter are the only two like you and he taught your mother as well.  He’s your best shot in this world.”

 

She still didn’t speak, just sat there staring at her hands. 

 

“If you’re not getting out, I am going to lock you in.”  He warned.  “I told you I’m running errands.  I’m not waiting for you to smile just so you don’t look like I kidnapped you when we walk in.”


	13. Chapter 13

Ben wasn't really paying too much attention to the show the Hauptman's youngest daughter was streaming on Netflix. It was something about fairytales. Porsche was in her teen drama stage, fifteen years old and watching strange TV shows. 

 

"Why does she stay with him?" He growled out finally, getting irritated with the show. The one stupid brunette kept whining about how her husband didn't love her. "If he's such an asshole, fucking leave. Stop whining."

 

Porsche turned around, startled. 

 

"She knows he has good buried deep down." She murmured, turning back. "She loves him." 

 

Ben snorted as she sat there, against him on the sofa, infatuated with the tv. He wouldn't understand the fascination with televised drama, it wasn't interesting. These people wanted magic? It didn't look like that, he could tell them that. 

 

And true love's kiss didn't fix anything. Doesn't really exist either. What did exist was the growing discomfort of having his alpha's daughter so physically close to him. 

 

The other bit that very much concerned him was the fact she was so evidently captivated by this singular character--of all the people. 

 

"Off," He said suddenly. Porsche jumped as if he'd stung her. "You're too old for this."

 

She nodded slowly and moved to the other side of the couch. He felt bad almost immediately, the flash of hurt across her face made sure of that. Porsche had curled up with the pillow there and refocused her attention on the show. 

 

He shook himself out of it. She was fifteen, she shouldn't be curling up against him, practically on his lap, head on his shoulder. It was weird. If someone walked in, if her parents came home, it'd be a mess. 

 

"He loves her, too."  Porsche pointed out. "But I agree. She should leave." 

 

Well, at least she had some common sense. 

 

It was half an hour later before her dad came home. Like clockwork, she gathered up her things and disappeared upstairs as she heard the car roll in. Often, when she was home from Aspen Creek, she avoided her father. They'd all recognized the pattern, but they'd given up trying to change it. She had made up her mind. 

 

"I can't do this anymore." Ben admitted. The look Adam had given him when he'd entered the home was one of concern without even knowing what had set off the younger wolf. "I can't be the one picking her up from work and keeping her company anymore."

 

Porsche had found a small job at a local coffee shop to keep from having to work for either of her parents. Of course that meant she usually needed a ride there or back and whoever was free on the dates and times she needed was responsible for her. Adam didn't like the idea of her walking the hour home, though she did it pretty often. 

 

"Did something happen?" Despite his outward demeanor, the tone in his alpha's voice changed and he winced. 

 

"No." He fell silent. Adam waited for an explanation. Ben didn't feel comfortable sharing was the only issue. How in the hell did you explain to anyone, let alone your alpha, that you felt abnormally comfortable around his daughter? "I don't feel comfortable with this situation."

 

"I can respect your decision if you wish to leave her to someone else." Adam nodded. "If you won't talk to me, you should still talk to someone." 

 

"No offense, it's a little awkward to talk about." 

 

Adam nodded. Having a conversation with someone about why his wolf was so eager to attach itself to a fifteen year old girl wasn't great, especially because it wasn't genuinely that common for a wolf to choose someone the human had no interest in. He'd spoken to the Marrok about it, been assured it wasn't that strange given circumstance. Ben wasn't quick to attach himself to anyone. In the time he'd known him, Ben hadn't gone on a date and he really didn't think he had been successful in terms of the bedroom either.  If Ben's wolf has latched on to someone Ben had effectively learned to care for, it wasn't too out of the ordinary. 

 

It was fear, probably, that made it more dangerous. Ben was scared of what it could mean. It wasn't that Adam was completely ignorant of what it could mean, either. Right now, when she was still far too young to make a decision like that for herself, he wasn't too concerned. Porsche had a crush, they were all more than aware. He would have someone talk to her about appropriate behaviour, if it was him she would do the opposite of everything he suggested. 

 

Adam had more than enough faith that mate didn't directly correlate with sex in Ben's world--at least it was certainly a guarantee when the girl he was padding after was underage. 

 

"I'll have someone talk to her, Mercy or Warren," He thought for a moment. "Maybe Honey, she could gain more insight certainly." 

 

Honey was old, had seen plenty. She also wasn't related by blood, a plus when dealing with an angst-ridden teen. 

 

"Age doesn't phase her." Ben said suddenly. "Or relationship."

 

"No, but why would it?" Ben looked confused. "In her world, everyone is decades if not centuries older than her. Age isn't a factor. I also think she sees you more as a friend than as a guardian. Blurs some lines."

 

Ben looked more uncomfortable than he had mere moments before. Adam had to shake himself out of thought. 

 

"I'm not dismissing the problem," He corrected carefully. "I'm just explaining that, from her side, this isn't that far-fetched. I will still have someone talk to her about appropriate behaviour amongst pack members."

 

"Ben can put together one of those safe touching in the workplace slideshows." Mercy offered, having just entered the home. "Hello, is Roy still with Arianna?"

 

Arianna, Ben always wondered why she wouldn't babysit all family members. He suspected Porsche's sometimes unwarranted teenage aggression might frighten her off the job. 

 

"I just got home, didn't get the chance to call over." Adam explained, leaning back on the counter. "Can you pick Porsche up from work tomorrow?"

 

"What happened?" Mercy's tone immediately dropped in decibel. It was only half relieving to Ben to know he wasn't immediately the one being faulted. 

 

"Nothing, Ben is right. We expect a lot of him and we shouldn't have put him in the position we have." Adam watched the other man carefully. "If you can't, I'll take off early or work from home. It actually might be better if I try that." 

 

Ben let out a breath he didn't even notice he was holding. 

 

"Thank you, Ben." Adam nodded to him. 

 

"Anytime."  The blonde had to actually keep himself from running flat out of the room and home. Adam refocused on his frowning wife the moment he'd left the room, no one would stop him. 

 

"What happened?"

 

"She's pushing a little too much. Ben is right, we've abused his helpfulness." Adam sighed, glancing at the ceiling above their heads. "I'll take off and that way I can take Roy and Fallon for at least half the day as well. Gives Arianna a break."

 

Mercy nodded, still frowning. 

 

"She's not going to take this well," She reminded him. 

 

"It's not an end-all situation," Adam knew she was right. "It's just us pulling back a little on our expectations of him. Pushing him to be in the same room with her when she's all but literally throwing herself at him is something we should have foreseen as a problem."

 

"We did foresee it." Mercy snorted. "You did it anyways."

 

The look her mate gave her elicited a drawn-out sigh from her lips. 

 

"She doesn't hate you," Mercy assured gently. "She's grown into it."

 

"She actively seeks out situations where she doesn't have to spend time with me." 

 

"I don't think so."  Mercy laughed. "Last weekend, she was practically begging to go to Seattle with you."

 

"I'm not going to take her to Seattle on business--" He sighed, too. 

 

"She wants alone time with you," She smiled, picking her keys up again. She took a few steps towards the door. "You're dead set on either attacking her for misbehaviour or ignoring her altogether."

 

"I don't ignore her." Adam disagreed. 

 

"No, you pass her off on to Ben." Mercy snorted. 

 

"She feels more comfortable around him." Adam pointed out. 

 

"She's your daughter and she's not your pack. She's Bran's. You don't get to just make her comfortable. You dealt with custody with Jesse, I don't understand why this is so difficult for you." Her words stung a little, but she was laughing. "Of course she likes Ben, he gives her the time of day. I bet they sat on that couch from the moment he brought her home and she forced him to at least listen to some stupid show she's watching or the story of something that happened at work. Ben listens, despite the fact he probably doesn't or the fact he is so obviously uncomfortable with the relationship. He might feel a little more himself if he wasn't practically raising her."

 

"You going to pick up Roy?" Adam asked, not so much intentionally changing the topic because of discomfort. The change was more related to the fact Mercy was at the door. She nodded. "Tell Arianna I'll take them tomorrow."

 

"Actually, Samuel has the day off tomorrow and will be taking Fallon out." He frowned. "Sorry, I forgot when you mentioned it. I'll take Roy tomorrow. You might consider asking Porsche to take off and doing something with her. Take a page from Sam."

 

He bristled, she had already slipped out the door. Adam realized she was taking the car the moment it started, though the fact she had grabbed her keys should have been signal enough. Usually they walked between the two homes. That wasn't to say the doctor and his family lived in the backyard these days, they had a house. It just happened to be close enough to be convenient. 

 

If Adam had a whole family practically behind him he would buy them a house himself. 

 

"Porsche," He climbed the stairs. "Portia--" 

 

"I heard you!" The teenager's voice snapped. "I heard you. Chill." Her head poked out of her door. Her hair was up again, it usually was when she left for work. She had cut it recently, not while she was home, and it was just barely long enough for a ponytail that stuck out sharply from the back of her head. 

 

She'd really sliced it all off. She claimed she was tired of getting confused with Raven Cornick and the thought made his smile falter. 

 

"You summoned?"

 

"Do you have sick days?" 

 

"Dad, I work a part-time job part of the year." She rolled her eyes, but he caught her nervously tapping her fingers on the door. "Yeah...I have some hours I can use. Is mom ok?"

 

The idea that everyone associated time off and Mercy in trouble was always humorous to him. 

 

"I took tomorrow off," He would have to get some things done tonight and actually call to set that up. "You want to go grab coffee or something?"

 

He watched as she tried to hide the surprise and quiet excitement behind a scowl. The hope in her eyes was still there when she opened the door a little wider and tried to casually shrug. 

 

"What about Roy?" 

 

"Mom is taking him tomorrow." His daughter straightened a little. 

 

"Yeah. Sure. Coffee works." She paused. "Um...just not where I work?" 

 

He laughed and she blushed. 

 

"I think arrangements can be made." 

 

She still seemed a little anxious and he raised an eyebrow. 

 

"I didn't do something wrong did I?"

 

His heart sank a little. Mercy was right, he'd screwed up. 

 

"No." He shook his head. He'd leave the Ben conversation to someone else another day. Father-daughter time or not, she wasn't about to bend over backwards to listen to him. 

 

"Cool." She immediately regained her teenage persona. "Anything else?"

 

"No, that's it." She waited patiently for him to leave, but instead he just stood there. Finally, she groaned. 

 

"Are you going to leave?"

 

Adam laughed.


End file.
